The Amazing Adventures of the Sensational Squirrelman

Earths Shattering Issue Eleven!

I am… the Sentinel! The walls of the alternities have been breached, and now I must watch as all that is, all that was, and all that might be hurtle toward themselves, collapsing into one singular moment of time and space! What will happen as worlds collide? Will anyone be able to survive? The answers lie within the mind of the Sensational Squirrelman… if he has the will to face them! But first he must face…

The Alternity Amalgamation!

When a sense of self returned to them they were standing on a rooftop in Lower Uptown while all around them a riot raged. It wasn’t a normal riot, either. It was as though every riot that had every happened was happening right then and there. Slaves riots, hunger riots, looters, anti-war riots, race relation riots, anti-British riots… as though time itself was compressing and people were simply caught up in the overwhelming emotion of anger and frustration and hate and fear and greed.

“Jesus,” Squirrelman swore, an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. A Tyrannosaurus Rex lumbered past, huge fang filled mouth snapping at looters.

He turned to the Supertwins.

“Joe! Take care of that thing!” he ordered.

“Me?” Joe Sterling looked at the gigantic lizard.

“Yeah, you! We don’t have time to argue, just do it!” Squirrelman ordered. Joe nodded once and flew at the gigantic predator from the Cretaceous.

Squirrelman leapt off the building and grabbed a man who was beating up another man. He knocked the man out and helped the victim to his feet. Princess was glowing a bright golden light which was helping to calm the rioting crowd with an aura of peace, while Ragdoll helped a woman out of a burning 1935 Ford, taking her baby from her and calming it as Jerry tore open the door.

Squirrelman turned and saw a wave of alternity lightning crackling down the street, transforming the buildings it touched, turning a normal city street into an Old West street. Horses were stampeding down the street and into the rioting crowd. Squirrelman saw Sunset McGraw helping a bunch of children and the school marm out of the street and back into the Town Church out of the way of the stampeding horses. Squirrelman jumped on one of the lead horses and rode it back toward the crackling alternity lightning curtain, knowing the herd would follow the lead horse. He rode it into the alternity lightning and jumped clear at the last moment, the herd returning to the Old West just as the curtain of crackling lightning passed.

“When did you learn to ride?” Ragdoll asked in wonder.

“Oh, a few months ago,” he answered, pointing at a pair of teens from the fifties trapped by cavemen.

The acrobatic crimefighters jumped and flipped over the cro-magnons and grabbed the teeny boppers, tossing them to Jerry and Joe as the Supertwins flew overhead. Squirrelman and Ragdoll bounced and flipped, somersaulted and kicked, punched and slashed, eventually subduing the prehistoric goons.

Princess lowered herself to hover near the other two.

“This isn’t helping much,” she said to them. Jerry and Joe joined them. All four of them looked to Squirrelman.

“What now?” Joe said. His short sleeved Sterling Squad shirt had been torn and a thin trickle of blood was seeping from a long slash in his chest. Jerry had a black eye that was swelling shut. The Supertwins grabbed each other’s hand and their wounds healed in moments. Joe tore off his ripped shirt. Princess simply admired his muscular physique.

“Showoff,” his brother laughed.

“Now we – holy SOCKS!” Squirrelman yelled, shoving Ragdoll behind him. A wave of alternity flux lightning had suddenly appeared behind them all and tore open reality all around them. The Supertwins and Princess leapt into the air, while Ragdoll and Squirrelman ran for it. Ragdoll jumped into the air and was grabbed by Jerry, while Squirrelman jumped over the roof of a car just as it exploded, hurtling him high into the air. He flipped around to fall toward a streetlamp, just as the alternity lightning curtain washed over him. He grabbed at a street lamp that no longer existed where he now was.

He landed hard and looked around. Wherever he now was, there was a hurricane force storm crashing all around him. No riot, no alternity lightning curtain. Just normal looking buildings shut up against the storm.

Then it hit him. He knew where he was.

Home.

He was standing outside the offices of M&R Accounting.

An odd sense of unreality washed over him. He was here, where he’d come from, wearing the Squirrelman costume. He walked, not feeling quite real, toward his old office, and opened the door.

“Close the door!” came a familiar voice from the back room. “You’re letting the storm in-“

Matthew Matheson came out of the back room and looked at Squirrelman.

“Well,” Matthew said. “This is unexpected.”

“Yeah…” Squirrelman pulled off his mask and looked at his old face.

“So, uh…” Matthew said, frowning a little. “I’m guessing you’re trying to get back home? Called in Reed Sterling or something like that?”

“No… it’s an alternity amalgamation,” Matt answered. “Accidentally got caught in a space time rupture.”

Matthew looked surprised.

“Playing in the big leagues, eh?” Matthew smiled. “’Bout time I got some recognition.”

“I guess,” Matt said. “Look, I don’t have any right-“

“I was wondering if-“ Matthew said at the same time.

They smiled at each other, the same smile on faces more identical than twins. Matt indicated Matthew should go first.
“I don’t want to go back,” Matthew said simply. “I didn’t realize how miserable I was there.”

“Miserable? Really?” Matt said, surprised.

“Oh yeah, absolutely,” Matthew answered.

“You don’t find my life a little… well… dull? Boring?” Matt asked.

“No one’s tried to kill me for weeks,” Matthew answered. “No more trying to lead two lives, keeping one secret from the other at all times. No more worrying who’s a clone and who’s an alien doppelganger and who’s been mind controlled. So much free time I don’t know what to do with myself.”

“When you put it that way…” Matt replied. “Listen, crazy spider chicks and space time ruptures aside, your life is pretty exciting… I don’t want to go back either. I was living a life of quiet desperation here. There I… I’m doing something with my life. Your life. Whichever.”

Matthew stuck out his hand.

“Your life now friend,” Matthew said.

Matt took his hand and shook it. Something inside him suddenly spun, and both of them grabbed at their heads in mirror images of the other.

When the vertigo had passed, Matt was still inside the Squirrelman body.

The wall suddenly split open in a wide white hole. Jerry Sterling stuck his head in through the white hole, reaching one hand toward Squirrelman.

“Whoa, trippy,” Jerry said, looking at Matt pulling on his mask and his alterself leaning on the reception desk. “Come on Squirrelly, this ain’t as easy as it looks. Princess is having an aneurism attuning herself to the alternity flux energy, but Ragdoll threatened to rip her lungs out if she didn’t try.”

“Ragdoll,” Matthew said, concern creasing his face. “Squirrelman! Tell her I’m sorry for-“

“I already did!” Squirrelman replied, taking Jerry Sterling’s hand and being pulled through the hole in space and time.

Ragdoll was waiting for him on the other side. Joe Sterling was propping up Princess, who looked pale and shaken. Ragdoll took Squirrelman in her arms, hugging him tight.

“I don’t care who you were,” Ragdoll said simply, reaching up and kissing him. “I care for the man you are.”

Squirrelman kissed her back, then went over and hugged Princess.

“Thanks,” he said to his most famous fan. She smiled weakly up at him.

“Okay guys, Princess was right, these riots aren’t going to be stopped until we get the Gardner Violation under control,” Squirrelman stated.

“Waitaminute.” He turned to the Supertwins. “Your dad said something about Discordants… they shattered the universe that existed before the universe, right?”

“Yeah,” Jerry nodded.

“There was something … Christ it was so long ago for me,” Squirrelman said. “Something about Discordants… we were in the lab?”

“What like, last night?” Joe laughed.

“Yeah, yeah, last night for you, almost a year ago for me,” Squirrelman waved him off. He frowned and closed his eyes deep in thought. “Something about… Discordant radiation or something...”

“The Thomas Tuner!” Jerry said to Joe.

“It’s filled with Discordant Radiation from Dad’s run in with the Dissonance last week!” Joe said to Jerry.

“The Discordants shattered the pre-multiverse,” Squirrelman said. “If we use their energy to prevent the Keys from merging-“

“We can reverse the polarity of the flux capacitors to generate a counter Gardner Field!” Jerry said.

“And use the Thomas Tuner to save the day!” Joe looked at Squirrelman. “Dude… totally sweet!”

Princess was looking at Squirrelman with huge admiring eyes. Even Ragdoll looked impressed.

Squirrelman looked at the team.

“Well?” he laughed. “Let’s go!”

Jerry and Joe took to the storm-filled skies, and Princess grabbed Squirrelman and Ragdoll each by a hand and launched herself into the air.

As they flew toward the Sterling Spire, they could see costumed crimefighters all across Action City, saving lives and keeping the destruction to a minimum. Off to one side, most notably, a band of costumed crimefighters was holding off a wave of greyish sluglike Nullspace leeches, the crimefighters being led by a huge man in a tan trenchcoat and brown fedora.

“GET THEM!!” the big man cried to his team, who leapt eagerly to the fray, just as a wave of alternity lightning crashed over them, whisking them from view.

“Awfully good form,” Joe commented.

“They’ll do well,” Jerry agreed.

Curtains of cross-alternity lightning cut thick swathes through the city, more and more rapidly now as the Key Alternities drew closer and closer together. Just as they reached the Sterling Spire they five of them were confronted by a sight they would never forget.

A giant robot ape with a Nazi swastika emblazoned on its chest was climbing the Sterling Spire.

“Well, that’s something you don’t see every day,” Joe Sterling said.

“Yeah, we saw it what, last week?” Ragdoll asked her partner.

“Don’t look at me, I’ve been travelling through time and space,” Squirrelman said. “How did he get loose so fast? And repair that ape?”

“Oh crap,” Jerry said. “That ain’t the Doktor Affe we all know and laugh at.”

The Supertwin was right. There was something subtly different about the mechanical ape and its gorilla occupant. As they drew closer, they could see what the difference was.

This mechanical ape was not a remnant of some World War II mad genius.

This was a modern, highly advanced piece of technology. The occupant was not wearing a German Commandant’s uniform, but a slick outfit of futuristic design. He was, however, still an ape. And still a Nazi.

“Doctor Affe and his Gotterangutan will end this intrusion into our alternity!” came the ape Doctor’s voice from a loudspeaker in the gigantic ape mech.

“Oh my god,” Princess sneered, rolling her eyes.

“Nazis Conquered alternity?” Joe asked his brother.

“Ten will getcha twenty,” Jerry answered.

The ape turned its head toward the incoming flight of costumed crimefighters and energy beams suddenly shot out of its eyes, striking Princess midair.

She dropped the two acrobatic crimefighters and they fell through the air for a couple of seconds until Jerry and Joe caught them.

The dove down and with their free hands caught Princess as she was falling.

The five of them flew down to the balcony of a lower level of the Sterling Spire. Lightning, both storm related and the alternity rupture kind, crackled through the air.

“Ow,” Princess said finally.

“We’ve got to take that thing out,” Jerry said.

“You know it bro,” Joe agreed. They made to fly off.

“Wait!” Squirrelman stopped them. The paused mid air. “You can’t. You two are the only ones who can rewire the Thomas Tuner. That’s got to be your priority.”

“But-“

“No buts, pal,” Squirrelman said.

“Listen to your friend,” a deep voice said from behind them all. They turned to find the source.

He was dressed in gold and blue and red – red body suit, blue overtrunks and boots and gloves. Little domino mask that scarcely hid his manly, handsome features, the cleft chin, the bright blue eyes, the dark wavy hair… Golden A with small golden eagles wings stylized to either side emblazoned huge on his chest, his blue cape swirling in the wind.

Captain Action.

The five costumed crimefighters stared at the hero from the past with huge eyes, mouths opened.

“Sir?” Squirrelman said finally. He hadn’t grown up revering this man, hovering there in the storm tossed air, unconcerned with the wind, impervious to the rain and lightning and thunder, but Matt had come to respect his sacrifice in the past few weeks he’d lived in the city that bore the name of man before them.

“I may not know what’s happening to my city but I know a Nazi when I see one,” Captain Action said. He looked at the twins. “You two know a way to save the city? Then that’s your priority.”

The Supertwins looked on, still awestruck. They nodded mutely.

Captain Action looked at Squirrelman.

“You look to be the leader of this bunch,” the Captain stated. “What’s your thoughts?”

“I figure… I figure we take care of the Gotterangutan and the twins use the Thomas Tuner to set things right,” Squirrelman said, wasting no time.

“A man of action, like myself,” Captain Action said. He nodded once, curtly. “Good.”

“You two go inside the building, get to the lab, rewire the Thomas Tuner,” Squirrelman directed the Supertwins. They flew in through a lower window without a word.

“The four of us will… will try to keep Doktor Affe busy,” Squirrelman said.

“Squirrelly,” Ragdoll said, “I don’t know if you remember the last time? We got our butts kicked?”

“I remember, hon,” Squirrelman answered. “But we’ve got to do our best.”

“That’s all anyone can ask, friend,” Captain Action agreed. “What’s the plan?”

“I wouldn’t presume to tell you what to do, sir,” Squirrelman said carefully.

Captain Action laughed.

“I’m just a man,” he said, smiling. “I have abilities that set me apart from normal folks, it’s true, but it’s how you use those abilities that makes a man a man.” He glanced at Princess and Ragdoll. “Or a woman, as the case may be. You’re more familiar with the situation, and so I defer to you.”

Squirrelman was a little overwhelmed.

“Well then,” he said, an emotional lump rising to his throat, “ I’d say… now’s the time to take action.”

Captain Action looked at him, an odd smile on his face.

“Say,” he said, “That’s catchy.”

Ragdoll and Princess shared a look.

“Okay, so…” Squirrelman assessed the situation. The Gotterangutan had almost reached the summit of the Spire. “Princess – go up there, get his attention, make sure you keep his attention.” She nodded and flew off.

“Captain… can you fly us up there? We’ll try and take out Herr Doktor, while you keep the mech busy?”

“Right,” Captain Action said simply, taking their hands in his and flying the hundred or so storeys straight up toward the robotic ape. Princess was flying around its head, swooping in and flying out of range of its groping, smashing fist, glowing brightly enough to be a constant source of attention.

Captain Action dropped the acrobatic duo off on a ledge and flew straight at the gigantic ape. They made their way carefully along the ledge as the robotic ape smashed Captain Action into the side of the Sterling Spire. Squirrelman shook his head in wonder as Captain Action shook off the blow with ease, bending the robot’s arm back away from the wall. Ragdoll was grinning a huge grin. He nodded toward the legs of the robotic ape, seeing a way they could climb the mech and perhaps end the threat.

The ape suddenly reared back away from Captain Action and aimed another tremendous blow at the flying hero. He dodged out of the way, but the blow smashed through the wall into the Lab beyond.

“Squirrelly,” Ragdoll warned. “Careful. That thing will swat us like bugs.”

“I know hon, but what else can we do?” Squirrelman called back. He climbed the last bit of ledge to where the robot ape’s legs had dug into the side of the Sterling Spire. He hot squeezed his claws out and climbed onto the gigantic ape mech, just as the leg moved away and upwards with incredible speed for something so large. In a couple of seconds they were far out of Ragdoll’s reach.

Squirrelman hung on for his life as the mech ape climbed to the absolute top of the Spire. He looked down and saw Ragdoll climb the last few feet and crawl into the Lab to relative safety, and then he set about trying to do what he could to help Princess and Captain Action. He climbed between the legs of the mech ape and clambered up its front. The mech was made of some sort of odd textured metal, hard enough to resist his claws. He was forced to try and find joints and seams in the mechanical limbs to climb any higher. He looked up and saw, protruding from the gigantic ape’s chest, a glass-like bubble from which Doktor Affe was directing the mech ape’s actions. Try though he might, Squirrelman couldn’t see any way to climb to the glass enclosed control booth. But he was close enough to hear the Doktor’s mad ape like laughter.

He was forced to admit he couldn’t do anything from here. He climbed back down between the legs and started to climb up the mech ape’s spine, trying to get to the head. From here he had a better vantage point to see Princess dodging energy beams from the mech ape’s eyes, and to see Captain Action rip one of the mech ape’s arms off.

Squirrelman watched with amazement. Captain Action was everything he’d read about in the research he’d done when he first found himself in this alternity. Truly, completely, amazing.

The mech whirred and sparked with protest, the severed arm still held in Captain Action’s hands. The Captain looked for a place to drop the limb off, while the Doktor tried madly to reroute power and reboot the main defence systems of the mech ape. Princess took advantage of the distraction to smash through the robot’s head. The resulting overload to the defence network made the whole mech shudder and suddenly pitch off the wall. Squirrelman leapt into midair, hoping one of his teammates would catch him.

He was right. It was Ragdoll, and she was wearing a Sterling flight pack. She smiled at him.

“Hey there, doll,” he smiled at her. She smiled back. They all flew into the Lab, where Jerry and Joe were rewiring the Thomas Tuner.

“No no, that goes there and this goes here,” Jerry yelled at his twin brother.

“Right, my bad,” Joe answered sheepishly.

“Well, I’m off,” Captain Action said, tossing them a salute. “If this works I don’t imagine we’ll be seeing each other any time soon.”

They nodded to him quickly.

Squirrelman followed Captain Action to the hole in the wall. As the hero from the past flew off, Squirrelman called to him. Captain Action turned and faced him, hovering mid air.

“Captain?” Squirrelman said, an emotional lump forming in his throat. “On behalf of the entire city, sir… Thank you.”

Captain Action grinned back and saluted the grey clad guardian of Lower Uptown.

“You’re welcome, son,” Captain Action replied, flying off. Squirrelman could hear him say, “Now’s the time to take action!”

Inside the Lab, Jerry and Joe were finished their rewiring.

“Well?” Squirrelman asked tensely.

“Well,” Jerry said. He put his hand on a large switch. “Here goes nothing,” he said, pulling the switch.

The machine came to life, humming. The humming grew louder and louder and suddenly stopped.

“Did it work?” Squirrelman asked, looking at the console as though he understood what the various dials meant.

“Look for yourself,” Princess called from the hole in the wall.

Outside, it was a nice, clear day. The sun was shining, and as they watched, a bird soared past the hole in the wall.
Ragdoll leaned into Squirrelman, who wrapped an arm around her waist.

Jerry hovered out into the clear afternoon sky, looking at the calm that surrounded them.

“YEAH!!” Joe yelled suddenly, punching the air. Princess flew out and did somersaults in the air, a huge grin on her face.

Squirrelman leaned down and kissed Ragdoll passionately.